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Emma Watson Is Right—Don’t Take Potshots at Fathers

Originally posted on TIME:

“I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent being valued less by society despite my needing his presence as a child as much as my mother’s. We don’t often talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that they are and that when they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence.”- Emma Watson

The famous actress and Ivy League graduate uttered those spectacular words in an address to the United Nations last week. Watson, a U.N. Goodwill Ambassador, gave an impassioned speech calling on men to join women in the battle for gender equality. But in the process, she spoke about the importance of dads, the gender stereotypes that exist for men, and the reasons both sexes have to speak up for one another.

And her timing couldn’t have been better.

This weekend, I waded into unexpected controversy regarding this very…

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Small Town Life – Go Over There and Look

Something I learned from high school Biology (Mr. Nob), was to look at things from a different side. He would say, “Go over there and look from that way.”

He also made us debate issues like Creationism and Evolution and didn’t let us choose a side, therefore, regardless of whether we believed in it or not, we had to try and prove it.

“Go over there and look.”

He also talked alot about his wife and kids and about how to have a healthy relationship and that we need to be able to put ourselves in the other persons shoes. He would definitely never give birth but somehow he had to find a way to sympathize with his wife or he would not be able to handle the pressure hormones and pain and all that does to a relationship. He found a way to “Go over there and look.”

I would like to say that this is one of the things that has made me different in my relationship with people but particularly Andy.

I have to Go Over there and Look alot because I like things a certain way and I have expectations. Unrealized expectations are the killers of relationships. When I find myself in a situation where my expectations, voiced or unvoiced, are unrealized, I have to Go in the Bathtub and Look. I let the water run. The sound of the running faucet calms me and gets my mind working in a new direction. The smell of eucalyptus bath salts puts me in a thinking state and then, with steam rising all around me, I can have a conversation with me, myself and I. I think about how I would feel if I were the other person. How would I defend myself against me?

The argument usually only takes a few minutes and then, I’m out of the tub, drying off and back into the world. I have talked myself out of being mad.

Suggestion: Find that happy place for you and Go Over There and Look. Just try it and tell me what you see.

Small Town Life – Cold water all over the front of me….

I feel like everyday conversations tend to lead me toward epiphanies that change my life. I never know when something is going to click. It’s like drinking ice water. You are drinking along and suddenly, that dam of ice breaks and you are covered in cold water! It’s a freezing and humiliating/humbling experience having a life epiphany because there is a realization that you have been wrong the whole time and only now are you going to be right… maybe.

I remember my mother drilling into my head as a young child the phrase, “Treat people the way you want to be treated.” She did everything she could to get this point across but to no avail until one day when we were looking for a birthday present for a friend. “Just buy what you would want. You are both 8 and you both like the same things.” Click. Cold water all over me. I was happy to know what to buy but my eight year old self was embarrassed at how I had treated my friends. At eight, this didn’t click in reference to my siblings but as far as friends go, I got it. I didn’t always apply it but it clicked.

Perhaps even better than that was when I was a part of a conversation that finally drove home the point that God doesn’t have a measuring stick. Although I had always had the head knowledge that God loves everyone equally, I had secretly harbored the belief that if I followed the churches rules, I would be more loved or better loved or just better. Then a pastor was asking me a few pertinent questions and click, freezing water. Yeesh…. That was sobering to say the least.

How about you? Have you had a life epiphany that poured cold water all down the front of you in front of the whole restauraunt?

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