Abby: Mommy? Do grown ups get loose teeth?
Abby: So when kids lose all their teeth and get adult teeth, they have to get a job and earn money?
Abby: …instead of getting their money from losing teeth.
Me: hmmm… Maybe we need to rethink the whole tooth fairy concept.
Why do people on reality shows always look surprised on that last episode when the show bring back all the previously eliminated contestants as helpers for the last “task?” Who is screening these idiots to be on TV who haven’t gotten it yet that their frienemies are coming back to haunt them?
Ok, when I was dying from the kidney stone, they gave me a narcotic to help deal with the pain. I have only been on this powerful of drugs a couple of times: once when I got my tonsils out, when I got my wisdom teeth out, and when I gave birth. I have discovered that this is not a good thing for me. Well, maybe it is and maybe it isn’t. I am definitely not myself when I’m on drugs. When the drugs start to take effect, I’m everybody’s friend. I love you and you and you and you….
“Honey, who are you talking to?”
“Oh, Babe. These ER people are great aren’t they? We’ve been here for 6 hours and they haven’t offered us a single cracker or anything and they are just the best. I love them.”
“Ummm…. we’re leaving. Are you going too be ok to get to the car if I bring it around? Will you be fully clothed when I get back?”
“Oh, sure. I can’t feel a thing. My lips are fuzzy…”
In the car…
“I love you and you and you and you…”
“Honey, that’s a telephone pole.”
“Don’t you love telephone poles? They are so strong and big…”
“WAIT! Stop at Arby’s. I have a craving. I’m totally allowed to have cravings. I’m pregnant and on drugs. I’ve been through a lot today and I need a milk shake. Isn’t that drive up girl a sweetheart?”
When I got my tonsils out, I was waking up from the anethesia and I thanked every nurse and doctor in sight for what a wonderful job they were doing. After I gave birth, the combo of hormones and drugs made me love the doctor I had only met once, the nurses who were bringing me water and every person in the whole room.
I love you and you and you and…
“Ok, I love yooouuuuuu…..”
I was glancing at Sports Center as my husband soaked in every little bit of “news” from the show and noticed a former coach turned Sports Center commentator who was giving a speech to some professional athletes. He was saying that the most evil thing that ever hit professional sports was…
“Every time you have an injury, a career changing conversation, or an inflamitory thought, you are there typing it out with your thumbs. I need to make a button that says ‘DON’T SEND.’ You need to think twice before you hit ‘SEND,’ because the second you push that little button, du-na-na du-na-na (that’s the Sports Center news break sound), it’s out there. We’ve got it!”
That’s the thing about Facebook, Twitter and yes… even blogging. Whenever I have a thought, I start to write it down. My mother used to say, “Think before you speak.” That doesn’t quite seem to apply in the same way. More and more and more I’m having to edit myself when I WRITE/TYPE. I have to decide whether I want EVERYTHING out there or not. I’m not a professional athlete. I’m not famous in any way but simply because it’s the internet and anyone can read what I’m putting out there, I still have to consider: What am I sending this out into cyberspace for? Is it for dramatic effect? Is it to work through some issues? Will it hurt someone? Will it hurt me? Is that what I’m about? Is that what this blog is about?
These questions haunt all bloggers and chronic facebook updaters and tweeters.
So ask yourself – Are you reading twice before you tweet?