Our 7 year old has begun to write music. There isn’t much theory behind her music yet. But you have to start somewhere. Maybe she will write some for Taylor Swift one day.
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Abby: Mommy? Do grown ups get loose teeth?
Abby: So when kids lose all their teeth and get adult teeth, they have to get a job and earn money?
Abby: …instead of getting their money from losing teeth.
Me: hmmm… Maybe we need to rethink the whole tooth fairy concept.
If you expect that when you get married and have a baby, that baby will be first in both your lives…. get over it now. Babies and kids take up alot of time because they can’t feed themselves and they need to be changed and then they have to be dressed and even when they are partially self sufficient, we can’t boot them out the door at 6 and expect them to be successful. They have to be supported and taught.
However, this should not take priority over your husband/wife. This has been discussed over and over at length, even by me. I’m not divorced and I don’t have other children that are not Andy’s and he has no other’s that are not mine. It’s hard for me to comment on a situation with which I have no experience but I would venture to say that even when you’re children are not mutual, they should not take priority over your marriage.
One way you can show this to your spouse is by getting some childcare every now and then (weekly is ideal but not always practical), so you can both do something together without the kids. Another way is to not allow the kids to interrupt a conversation between mommy and daddy. Another good way to to set a very strict bedtime (in your room) time for the kids allowing mommy and daddy to have a few minutes alone at the end of everyday to communicate without being asked for snacks, water, help with this project, a story, and/or any other plethora of things they want from you.
What are your ideas? How do you make time for your spouse in a parenting world that makes the kids kings?
I feel like everyday conversations tend to lead me toward epiphanies that change my life. I never know when something is going to click. It’s like drinking ice water. You are drinking along and suddenly, that dam of ice breaks and you are covered in cold water! It’s a freezing and humiliating/humbling experience having a life epiphany because there is a realization that you have been wrong the whole time and only now are you going to be right… maybe.
I remember my mother drilling into my head as a young child the phrase, “Treat people the way you want to be treated.” She did everything she could to get this point across but to no avail until one day when we were looking for a birthday present for a friend. “Just buy what you would want. You are both 8 and you both like the same things.” Click. Cold water all over me. I was happy to know what to buy but my eight year old self was embarrassed at how I had treated my friends. At eight, this didn’t click in reference to my siblings but as far as friends go, I got it. I didn’t always apply it but it clicked.
Perhaps even better than that was when I was a part of a conversation that finally drove home the point that God doesn’t have a measuring stick. Although I had always had the head knowledge that God loves everyone equally, I had secretly harbored the belief that if I followed the churches rules, I would be more loved or better loved or just better. Then a pastor was asking me a few pertinent questions and click, freezing water. Yeesh…. That was sobering to say the least.
How about you? Have you had a life epiphany that poured cold water all down the front of you in front of the whole restauraunt?
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