I feel like everyday conversations tend to lead me toward epiphanies that change my life. I never know when something is going to click. It’s like drinking ice water. You are drinking along and suddenly, that dam of ice breaks and you are covered in cold water! It’s a freezing and humiliating/humbling experience having a life epiphany because there is a realization that you have been wrong the whole time and only now are you going to be right… maybe.
I remember my mother drilling into my head as a young child the phrase, “Treat people the way you want to be treated.” She did everything she could to get this point across but to no avail until one day when we were looking for a birthday present for a friend. “Just buy what you would want. You are both 8 and you both like the same things.” Click. Cold water all over me. I was happy to know what to buy but my eight year old self was embarrassed at how I had treated my friends. At eight, this didn’t click in reference to my siblings but as far as friends go, I got it. I didn’t always apply it but it clicked.
Perhaps even better than that was when I was a part of a conversation that finally drove home the point that God doesn’t have a measuring stick. Although I had always had the head knowledge that God loves everyone equally, I had secretly harbored the belief that if I followed the churches rules, I would be more loved or better loved or just better. Then a pastor was asking me a few pertinent questions and click, freezing water. Yeesh…. That was sobering to say the least.
How about you? Have you had a life epiphany that poured cold water all down the front of you in front of the whole restauraunt?
Yesterday was a new experience for me in the world of fatherhood. I picked up our 6 yo for school, and she asked if one of her school buddies (a boy) could come over to our house. So we get home and all 3 kids are playing nicely together. We decided to head to a park to enjoy some sunshine and fresh air. The boy really likes to play on the skate park, and naturally our 6 yo follows suit. Everything is going smoothly. I had to deal with a sharing issue with our 4 yo. Once that was resolved, all hell breaks loose. The boy wanted to play with a golf ball, which our 4 yo had and they played together. This action of changing playmates, caused the 6 yo to become quite JEALOUS. I look up and she was gone, she was hiding from all of us. I found her and I could see she was upset. The boy kept trying to talk to her, but she was having nothing to do with him. She kept running away from him, and giving him the cold shoulder. If this is any insight into her dating life, i feel sorry for the boys who piss her off. I hope she always knows that daddy will be here to guide her, listen to her, and protect her. Anyway, we get home and watched a movie, by the end of the movie the friendship was restored and all was well.
This morning upon waking the girls up to get them going for the day. The 6yo declares that she doesn’t feel well. I check her forehead and she doesn’t feel warm. So, I keep encouraging her to get out of bed and come down for some breakfast. (In my mind I’m thinking sick day and movies for everyone.) She then stats that she can only breath out of one nostril. I explain to her that its just a cold and that she is not really that sick. I was totally going to let her stay home and just hang out, but she made up her own mind that she wanted to go school.
Daddy is a softy. There I said it. This probably doesn’t bode well for me in the future with 3 beautiful daughters. They can have daddy wrapped around their little fingers. It’s a good thing Wifey and I are a good team and we can strengthen each other in our softy moments.
Wishing my wife and mother of our three BEAUTIFUL girls a Happy Mother’s day. We love you so much!!!
This is a corner of our church. This morning our 6 year old decided to pick up a pad of paper and she drew the single flower on the piano. Than between myself and the wifey we encouraged her to draw the rest. Here is the final result.
So we are sitting in church and I’m realizing how small it is. I’ve been in bigger churches. You know, a few hundred people and everyone is in their own seats and kids are sitting with their parents (or there is provided childcare) and everyone is disconnected and responsible only for themselves and they listen and they sing and they leave. However, in our church, we know EVERYONE! There is no childcare. Kids are wandering around the church at liberty to sit with whoever they want or wander from pew to pew collecting candy from every kindly old lady. They are visiting quietly with their friends and parents are sending Facebook notes to each other about afternoon activities or night entertainment or lunch plans. A little girl notices the pastor is back from a trip and yells out that she’s glad to see him and is invited up to the platform for a hug and a rendition of a favorite song. This is my idea of a great church life. Let the little children come… Let the adults participate and love each other and interact with each other. Let the visitors be invited to our homes and into our lives a bit for the day.
To keep the chaos down a bit, Andy and I insist on a reason for leaving our pew from the kids. This week, Abby’s reason was, “I need to do something nice.” Now this isn’t alot of information for a mother but what can I say? I decided to leave it alone and allow the pass to the rest of the church. She took a handful of colored pencils to a visiting child so they could color a picture provided by the children’s department earlier. It was a nice thing to do. Only in a small town church does this happen…
I think I’ve spent to much time at summer camp. These little bracelets were all the rage when I was a camper and camp staff. Of course this is the most basic, but its the limit of my braiding skills. I used my limited skills to make one for our four year old. She was very upset that her six year old sister received a rubber band bracelet from her Montana friend.
I remember. When I was young, maybe 10, I started journaling. Even before that, I remember my feelings about life. I might remember more than any of my siblings. Although I was never the touchy feely type, I did always have very strong feelings. They were feelings of wanting to be treated like a grown up. I had feelings of indignation and embarrassment and I felt like I should have been born knowing everything. How could I possibly mess up and have to deal with the consequences?
Abby (6) is learning to write. I’m hoping that she will journal as much as I did. I go back to those old journals and look at my writing and my feelings and it helps be to understand her. I’m not always the best mother. I hope I can be better by remembering my own childhood as much as possible. I always want to do as much as I can to understand her every time something happens.
This is soooo hard. When the rush of life has me in a hurry, it’s harder to stop and think about her feelings and why her reasoning is headed in a direction. But when I take the time, when I stop, it’s better.