Sometimes you have friends… and then they aren’t friends anymore.
Maybe you lose that friendship over a huge fight. Maybe it ends in disagreement so deep the friendship can’t recover.
Maybe you lose that friendship because of distance. Facebook acquaintance doesn’t necessarily constitute a deep friendship.
Maybe you lose that friendship over life changes. You switch life groups – maybe from single to married or married without children to married with children or something like that.
Maybe you grow apart because of differing growth and ideals.
The question is, how hard should we fight for these friendships that once meant so much to us and then either are strained or falling by the wayside? Something I’ve been pondering today.
Because life isn’t like Friends or Big Bang Theory or Grey’s Anatomy. You can’t have betrayal and then rebuild relationships. More often than not, people don’t make up and they don’t stay friends forever and your wife or husband isn’t going to be ok with your best friend being of the opposite sex (gay or straight). So people will change circumstances and relationships will change and friendships will end sometimes slowly and sometimes in fiery flames. I don’t know how to combat that or even if I should try.
There is a coffee shop I go to. I’m getting to be kind of a regular there. The lady who owns it recognizes me now. There is a group of old guys that get together there and chat about life. They discuss the towns business and undoubtedly they have seen our little hamlet change and morph in ways I can only imagine. When I see them, I imagine they are like a group of Jewish leaders getting together by the gate of the city and discussing politics and theology. They have seen so much in the world. I notice when someone is not in the group anymore. I know if one has gone into a nursing home or died. More come and take their place. It’s comforting to see that this community will be there when I’m of retirement age… I hope.
Will our generation be this tight in real life or will we sit at home posting to Facebook or whatever social media has taken it’s place?
Will it matter that I live in a small town then? Will we have practiced spending time together in real life enough to spend our retirement connecting in a way we never could when we were child laden, working and bustling around the world? Or will we be so out of practice in seeing another human face to face that we will hole up in our homes and not know how to function?
For now… I’m going to get a bit of sleep before my world starts to spin out of control in the morning. *all images found on google
“We accept the love we think we deserve.” I heard that the other day and was forced to think about some of my own relationships.
I have a few friends who inspire me, who’s lives I ponder at length. What is it about them that makes me want to be friends with them so badly?
1. They rarely need something from me. I might be valuable to them in certain situations for my talent or my contribution to a specific project but it’s not like that all time. I’m not the go to for help. They are the ones who just want to be friends because we can, not because of what I can offer them.
2. They are the ones who don’t offer me advice. They don’t need to change me. They never judge my life.
3. When they walk in the room, I’m just happy to be around them because they make the room light up with their presence.
4. They validate me.
5. These friends make me feel safe and comfortable in my own skin.
I am privileged to have many of these friends. They are all around. Somehow, I have been surrounded by these happy, contented, driven, amazingly creative people who I would not hesitate to call up if I was in their area just to chat and have coffee. I hope, my friends, you are accepting this love because you more than deserve it.
Well the past two weeks have been filled with our eldest daughter attending swimming lessons. This has been her second summer attending these lessons. Last summer was tough because she was still afraid of the water. Her first day I spent half the class period trying to calm her down and to just get her into the water. What a difference a year makes. She had so much confidence and fun this year and she was able to advance to the next level. Woo Hoo!!! The first day of lessons this year we found out that there was another Abigail Adams and they would be in the same class. Doppelganger alert!!! It’s weird to see another Abigail Adams, but also cool at the same time. I’m just glad her dad’s name isn’t John Adams (my official name). That would be too weird!!!
It was my Senior year at a small Liberal Arts College in Maryland, just outside the District of Columbia. A police officer had been fatally shot and a man hunt was on for the suspect. During this time I went to pick up one of my Bermudian friends to check out a church, that he would be preaching at. After picking him up we were stopped at a stop sign and a police siren starts blaring. I pull over to get out of the way. I look out my window and see four undercover policemen approaching us with M-16’s and other hand guns drawn. In the moment I have no idea what is going on and was in shock. I had never been in that type of situation before in my life. They started yelling at me to turn off my engine. The only words I can utter is “Yes Officer”. The officers were still searching for that same cop killer. Since I was a white guy driving a black guy they wanted to make sure I wasn’t being abducted. I know some would be upset about the situation because of racial profiling, but I can’t fault the police because of the high tensions at the time. They did eventually catch the cop killer. Even though I was scared and stressed out at the moment. I can now sit back and chuckle with my friends, Colorblind, about this story.
I was having a conversation with my three year old this morning at breakfast.
Abby: Daddy, you are my black daddy!!
Daddy: Really? How is that Abby?
Abby: Because you just are!!!
Daddy: You and mommy have been watching to many Cosby episodes!!
All I could do is chuckle and think about my friendships. For those of you who don’t know me that well.
Are you sensing a pattern. Many of my friends are African American. I have been accused of being a Racist, and all I do is chuckle and have to say that you obviously don’t know me very well. The song Colored People by DC Talk tends to sum up my philosophy on race relations.