Small Town Living – Relationships

Listening to a client who came into the store, I heard this statement, “I just don’t have time to waste on things I don’t care about. I only spend time on activities I really enjoy.”

Interesting. So I assume you are a recluse then? You don’t have many friends? You don’t find it easy to foster relationships with people? Are you happy being alone with your passions? If that’s true, more power to you! I know there are introverts who need time away from others to recharge. But does that really mean they want to be alone and without friends? FOREVER?! ALL THE TIME?! I doubt it.

If you only spend time on activites/passions that are important to YOU, you will rarely, if ever find it easy to foster relationships with people around you. How many yous are there out there? How many people are going to connect with you on every activity that you find important?

Small Town Life – Delivery

If Small Town Life has taught me anything, it’s that food is the only way to react to anything. This spring has been a time of going out and coming in life. There have been several deaths in the church and my family and around town and basically, the whole town reacts with food. They make freezer meals and bring them over or just come with a meal that’s ready for that night. If someone dies, you won’t have to cook in that house for a month. 

Of course, we had a baby this spring and that same thing happened. FOOD! It’s awesome

Truth: What else can we do when we want to support those who are going through something? Either a new something or a sad something or whatever. Food delivery is standard because it helps in several ways.

1. Usually, food is delivered in throw away containers. This means, if you have paper plates, no dishes. As a new mother and also someone who has dealt with a death in the family and severe illness in the family, I can attest to the awesomeness of not having to do dishes!

2. Having food delivered saves money. When you are dealing with a new expense of some kind (a baby or a funeral or hospital billls), having food delivered saves money. Maybe not alot of money but some and every little bit helps.

3. It is one less decision that has to be made. Have you ever been in the situation where one more decision will throw you over the edge? After having a baby or deciding on someone’s end of life wishes, deciding what to have for dinner is just one more thing and it might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

So, to all those ladies who organize meals for people in the church or community – keep on keeping on. If you are one of the people in the crowd – sign up. That one meal makes a world of difference to those who are hurting, busy, or just plain overwhelmed.

Small Town Life – Paradise Lost

Sometimes you have friends… and then they aren’t friends anymore.

From Milton’s Paradise Lost

Maybe you lose that friendship over a huge fight. Maybe it ends in disagreement so deep the friendship can’t recover.

Maybe you lose that friendship because of distance. Facebook acquaintance doesn’t necessarily constitute a deep friendship.

Maybe you lose that friendship over life changes. You switch life groups – maybe from single to married or married without children to married with children or something like that.

Maybe you grow apart because of differing growth and ideals.

The question is, how hard should we fight for these friendships that once meant so much to us and then either are strained or falling by the wayside? Something I’ve been pondering today.

Because life isn’t like Friends or Big Bang Theory or Grey’s Anatomy. You can’t have betrayal and then rebuild relationships. More often than not, people don’t make up and they don’t stay friends forever and your wife or husband isn’t going to be ok with your best friend being of the opposite sex (gay or straight).  So people will change circumstances and relationships will change and friendships will end sometimes slowly and sometimes in fiery flames. I don’t know how to combat that or even if I should try.

the wifey

Small Town Living – Coffee Shop Awesomeness

There is a coffee shop I go to. I’m getting to be kind of a regular there. The lady who owns it recognizes me now. There is a group of old guys that get together there and chat about life. They discuss the towns business and undoubtedly they have seen our little hamlet change and morph in ways I can only imagine. When I see them, I imagine they are like a group of Jewish leaders getting together by the gate of the city and discussing politics and theology. They have seen so much in the world. I notice when someone is not in the group anymore. I know if one has gone into a nursing home or died. More come and take their place. It’s comforting to see that this community will be there when I’m of retirement age… I hope.

Will our generation be this tight in real life or will we sit at home posting to Facebook or whatever social media has taken it’s place?

Will it matter that I live in a small town then? Will we have practiced spending time together in real life enough to spend our retirement connecting in a way we never could when we were child laden, working and bustling around the world? Or will we be so out of practice in seeing another human face to face that we will hole up in our homes and not know how to function?

For now… I’m going to get a bit of sleep before my world starts to spin out of control in the morning.                                             *all images found on google

Bracelets

I think I’ve spent to much time at summer camp. These little bracelets were all the rage when I was a camper and camp staff. Of course this is the most basic, but its the limit of my braiding skills. I used my limited skills to make one for our four year old. She was very upset that her six year old sister received a rubber band bracelet from her Montana friend.

I’m not THAT mommy…

I sat down with another mommy the other day to shoot the breeze in the coffee shop and we of course were talking about parenting…

Well, I was talking. She was listening.

I talked about how I just feel like I’m not the mommy who plays with her kids and I’m not the mommy who wants to do all this “mommy” stuff. It’s hard to be a Pinterest mommy. Those mothers who do projects, homeschool, keep a perfect house, are organized and are able to just embrace being a Stay At Home Mom are amazing. It’s really a job… a job that I don’t want. It’s one that some are amazing at.

I can’t play the violin. I never really wanted to play the violin. I love watching people play the violin. It’s an amazing instrument but it’s not my gift. I’m ok with that.

Why am I not ok with being a working mom? Why do I feel guilty because I’d rather do dishes and cook dinner than play barbies? Why do I feel guilty that I’d rather be at work and make money and run my business than be at home doing crafts and taking the kids to the park?

I love watching them grow. I do the best I can to maximize the few hours in the evening I have with them but… I’m just not THAT mommy.

found this image on google.

 

Golf this morning!!!!

Spent the morning golfing with a good.buddy of mine. Even though our golf game was poor we still had a great time enjoying the weather and each others company. As the saying goes “A bad day of golf is better than any day in the office”.
S

The Inspirational Friendship

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” I heard that the other day and was forced to think about some of my own relationships.

I have a few friends who inspire me, who’s lives I ponder at length. What is it about them that makes me want to be friends with them so badly?

1. They rarely need something from me. I might be valuable to them in certain situations for my talent or my contribution to a specific project but it’s not like that all time. I’m not the go to for help. They are the ones who just want to be friends because we can, not because of what I can offer them.

2.  They are the ones who don’t offer me advice. They don’t need to change me. They never judge my life.

3. When they walk in the room, I’m just happy to be around them because they make the room light up with their presence.

4. They validate me.

5. These friends make me feel safe and comfortable in my own skin.

I am privileged to have many of these friends. They are all around. Somehow, I have been surrounded by these happy, contented, driven, amazingly creative people who I would not hesitate to call up if I was in their area just to chat and have coffee. I hope, my friends, you are accepting this love because you more than deserve it.

Friends

Friends enjoying a night on the Las Vegas Strip together.

Shock

It was my Senior year at a small Liberal Arts College in Maryland, just outside the District of Columbia. A police officer had been fatally shot and a man hunt was on for the suspect. During this time I went to pick up  one of my Bermudian friends to check out a church, that he would be preaching at. After picking him up we were stopped at a stop sign and a police siren starts blaring. I pull over to get out of the way.  I look out my window and see four undercover policemen approaching us with M-16’s and other hand guns drawn.  In the moment I have no idea what is going on and was in shock. I had never been in that type of situation before in my life. They started yelling at me to turn off my engine. The only words I can utter is “Yes Officer”.  The officers were still searching for that same cop killer. Since I was a white guy driving a black guy they wanted to make sure I wasn’t being abducted. I know some would be upset about the situation because of racial profiling, but I can’t fault the police because of the high tensions at the time. They did eventually catch the cop killer. Even though I was scared and stressed out at the moment. I can now sit back and chuckle with my friends, Colorblind, about this story.

Pine Cone & Frost

Purple Aster