Tag Archives: Death

Small Town Life – Delivery

If Small Town Life has taught me anything, it’s that food is the only way to react to anything. This spring has been a time of going out and coming in life. There have been several deaths in the church and my family and around town and basically, the whole town reacts with food. They make freezer meals and bring them over or just come with a meal that’s ready for that night. If someone dies, you won’t have to cook in that house for a month. images3

Of course, we had a baby this spring and that same thing happened. FOOD! It’s awesome

Truth: What else can we do when we want to support those who are going through something? Either a new something or a sad something or whatever. Food delivery is standard because it helps in several ways.

1. Usually, food is delivered in throw away containers. This means, if you have paper plates, no dishes. As a new mother and also someone who has dealt with a death in the family and severe illness in the family, I can attest to the awesomeness of not having to do dishes!paintings-family-food-tables-Thanksgiving-Norman-Rockwell-Turkey-bird-_472406-32

2. Having food delivered saves money. When you are dealing with a new expense of some kind (a baby or a funeral or hospital billls), having food delivered saves money. Maybe not alot of money but some and every little bit helps.

3. It is one less decision that has to be made. Have you ever been in the situation where one more decision will throw you over the edge? After having a baby or deciding on someone’s end of life wishes, deciding what to have for dinner is just one more thing and it might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

So, to all those ladies who organize meals for people in the church or community – keep on keeping on. If you are one of the people in the crowd – sign up. That one meal makes a world of difference to those who are hurting, busy, or just plain overwhelmed.Saturday-Night-Live-The-Return-Of-The-Church-Lady

Small Town Life – That soon after…

Before this spring, I had never lost a close blood relative. I’ve lost a few married in aunts or uncles or great-grandparents but I had never lost a grandparent, parent, sibling or blood uncle or aunt. 10390152_10201961948915249_5587956195571053357_nThis spring, my grandfather died. And like in so many cases of long lasting love, my grandmother had a stroke not 2 months after he was in the ground – and on Mother’s Day no less. I came right away and although she was still living, she was in a vegetative state and I don’t know if she knew I was in the room or not. I talked to her, showed her the new baby, cried and then… well, what more could I do accept support my mother and uncles. If their reactions to her state and eventual death are any indication, she was a great mother. I have had 35 years to know this but their mourning was such a reminder of what a great person she was.

Death comes unexpectedly.

375664_3680694093333_683736386_nWhen I got here to the house, I got out of the car and was overwhelmed by the smell that reminded me of my grandfather, his lawnmower and his cars that were in pristine condition.

Grandma’s laundry was still in the drier. I folded it and put in her drawers.

Her kids had each sent her a Mother’s Day flower arrangement and they were still on the counters of her kitchen. She only got to enjoy them for mere hours before she collapsed from the stroke and never again opened her eyes to see anything around her.

Dad and I were deciding what to make for dinner and found food that needed to be thrown out but he didn’t want to because “It’s Mom’s kitchen.” But Dad, she’s not coming back to clean it out. Just throw it. What will she care? We are the ones eating out of this fridge and cooking in this kitchen. But it’s so strange to think that because she was here less than 24 hours ago assuming she would be the one cooking and now, she will never come back to this food she bought.

Her computer was littered with sticky notes in her handwriting indicating logins and passwords for the accounts she had set up after grandpa couldn’t pay bills anymore.

Her purse was still out ready to go to the store.

Her cell phone was plugged in on the counter and it went off every few hours with Facebook alerts, news bulletins and messages from people who didn’t know her condition.

The house phone rang and I answered it. It was pest control. I was amazed that life could go on when she was in the hospital – dying. The pest control lady didn’t know but shouldn’t the whole world go on hold while grandma took her last breaths?10346211_10202538507801317_3230551687894962794_n

But it doesn’t.

That’s what I learned.

No matter how good or bad a person you were in life, your passing will not stop earth from turning. Family will mourn you and your life will have had an effect on everyone – good or bad. Family will sit by your bedside and hang on every breath – hoping that you will get better or just die because they can’t take seeing you suffer. The guilt of hoping for a swift death will weigh on everyone – no matter their connection to you.

But the world goes on no matter what. I keep on doing the laundry here at her house. My mom and uncle water the plants. We fill the refrigerator and continue to use grandma’s house while we plan a memorial service and wait by her bedside for her to die or get better.

And then… she’s gone. And she’s not coming back here to this house. She will never sit in her rose garden again and she will never watch Jeopardy and mumble the answers under her breath. But we will remember all this about her – and talk about it someday without weeping – and live our lives because… what else can we do?

10171858_10202457639459659_4574457868474184190_n*all images came from her facebook page

A Day of Remembrance

Last night a friend and teammate of mine from college passed away. Today has been a day of reflection for all us. A day of remembering stories, goofy nick names, and how his big smile was infectious to us all. Even though I hadn’t really seen him since college, he was still family, and as one of my friends stated earlier today

Acro-Airs is a bond for life formed by an unconditionally trust to keep each other safe and entertaining ppl and no matter what others thought about us we took kept our girls safe, we stuck up for each other and we loved one another unconditionally and no matter how much time had passed between seeing each other when we saw each other our love for one another was like our last practice was yesterday. Today our family has lost a member and as brokenness fills my heart I js wanna say Reynald I love you and I miss you and prayerfully I’ll see on the great get tin’ up morning. by Damon Hendrickson.

Its so shocking when someone who is close to your age dies. I have been very somber today and totally out of it. All of his teammates are looking forward to be reunited with Reynald in Heaven.

credit goes to Julian Lettsome for this photo


Acro-Airs before an Atlanta Hawks Halftime
Cheer-n-Gym Cheerleading Camp
CUC Acro-Airs perform for the New York Knicks in Madison Square Garden