All issues are divorce or get over it. You can discuss. You can argue. You can come to a mutual agreement. You can never come to an agreement. You can fight, yell, cuss, whine and scream. But in the end, no matter what the resolution or NOT, either you get over it or divorce. That’s it.
Couples who never let stuff go, the ones who bring it up over and over, never are happy. Those are the couples who have told the story so many times it’s mindless rote memory. These are the husbands who “tease” their wives and it grinds dirt into an already open wound. These are the wives who have annoyed their husbands with passive aggressive comments until the husbands no longer hear anything they say, tuning out the good and the bad together. These are the people who say, “I don’t care but…” and that “but” negates everything they said before.
The best advice I ever got to let stuff go is to stop telling the story – first out loud to others, and then to yourself. After a while, you won’t even remember whatever the incident was.
Oh, there is not just one incident? It’s a pattern of behavior you say? Well, that’s NOT different! Either you can’t live with it or you are going to live with it. It is soul crushing and relationship killing to not let it go and stay with that partner. It’s like holding someone by the neck tie and yelling and them to get away from you. You have to fish or cut bait.