Small Town Life – Vegetables… Huh? What are they good for?

I don’t like vegetables. I’m really not that picky but I have to say that I like unhealthy stuff so I kinda don’t love vegetables. I mean, really!

I eat artichokes but lets be honest. they kinda look like a vegetable that you need to eat or you might be eaten. It’s a dang thistle!!! For me, it’s really just a catalyst for mayonnaise. Mmmmm… I love mayonnaise. However, I can’t be seen eating mayo out of the jar. It would just be… gross… for whoever was looking at me. So God made artichokes to be a little spoon for mayo. I believe it.

I eat carrots but let’s be honest: they aren’t always the go to for a snack even though someone had the genius idea to peel them, cut them and basically make them prep free right out of a bag from the grocery store. And yet, I open the fridge and all I want is cheese. Carrots are really just something to dress up in ranch. Oh, hello little boring carrot. How about a lovely ranch dressing suit? Yessss… that’s nice. Now you are worth eating. I can’t be seen drinking ranch out of the bottle but dip a carrot in ranch and suddenly I am healthyish again.

I eat tomatoes but let’s be honest: they aren’t awesome. They are seedy and acidy and just not fun to eat. I plain old don’t like them. Tomatoes are just a reason to eat bacon. Slap some bacon and mayo on bread and hide a few tomatoes in there and well, I’m healthfully eating fat and carbs.

How do you hide vegetables?

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