Something I learned from high school Biology (Mr. Nob), was to look at things from a different side. He would say, “Go over there and look from that way.”
He also made us debate issues like Creationism and Evolution and didn’t let us choose a side, therefore, regardless of whether we believed in it or not, we had to try and prove it.
“Go over there and look.”
He also talked alot about his wife and kids and about how to have a healthy relationship and that we need to be able to put ourselves in the other persons shoes. He would definitely never give birth but somehow he had to find a way to sympathize with his wife or he would not be able to handle the pressure hormones and pain and all that does to a relationship. He found a way to “Go over there and look.”
I would like to say that this is one of the things that has made me different in my relationship with people but particularly Andy.
I have to Go Over there and Look alot because I like things a certain way and I have expectations. Unrealized expectations are the killers of relationships. When I find myself in a situation where my expectations, voiced or unvoiced, are unrealized, I have to Go in the Bathtub and Look. I let the water run. The sound of the running faucet calms me and gets my mind working in a new direction. The smell of eucalyptus bath salts puts me in a thinking state and then, with steam rising all around me, I can have a conversation with me, myself and I. I think about how I would feel if I were the other person. How would I defend myself against me?
The argument usually only takes a few minutes and then, I’m out of the tub, drying off and back into the world. I have talked myself out of being mad.
Suggestion: Find that happy place for you and Go Over There and Look. Just try it and tell me what you see.