Small Town Living – Expectation to SETTLE DOWN

norman-rockwell-if-your-wisdom-teeth-could-talkThere is something about living in a small town or going to a small church or whatever that seems to give the older generation a feeling they have a right to have expectations of us younger people. Not only can they have these expectations but they can voice them whenever they feel the urge and dole out unsolicited advice. Ok, I’m all about learning from those who have gone before but there are some things that I think should change.

For example, why are we expected to get married? Why is it that every little lady in the church feels the need to set up anyone who is single? Have you thought maybe we like being single? Maybe we want to be free! Or maybe there is pain that cannot be explained and needs to be left alone. If we want to be set up, we’ll ask.

Flowers in Tender BloomOr how about when we do get married and at the reception we start getting the question, “When are you going to start a family?” Excuse me… I thought I just did. I just got a spouse. What if I don’t want the responsibility of kids? What if I can’t have kids? STOP PRAYING FOR ME TO HAVE KIDS!

Or how about after we actually do produce offspring and everyone wants to know when you are going to have that kid a sibling?! REALLY?!!!!

If you think society has changed, great but there is definitely a generation that thinks this progression is the only way to live life and frankly, it’s not.

I’m a wife, mother and I chose all that but I know people who want to be single. I know people who choose to not have children because they want to have a career. I know people who have no choice.

People in small towns expect their kids to take over the family business, they expect their young people to play on the football team, and especially in this agricultural area – to farm!

Should all these expectations really be put on our young people? Should we really be asking them questions like, “When are you going to settle down?”

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5 thoughts on “Small Town Living – Expectation to SETTLE DOWN”

  1. Great post…those who live in a small time might agree! It’s a lot of pressure and could really limit a person’s happiness. I know in other, less smaller towns…people moved because they couldn’t handle the pressure or because they knew they would never be able to pursue their career in a small town. I’d bet a lot of people just go with the flow…it takes courage to step out of the “what’s expected” frame and often the courageous ones then become the black sheep, so to speak.

  2. I cannot relate – I did not grow up in a small town – but I do have relatives who ask if I have a boyfriend yet at every family reunion. It is rather irritating because the way they ask it implies that I am a failure if I don’t “settle down.” I feel pretty settled down already, thanks! I just don’t settle when it comes to a significant other. 🙂

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