Parent Shames Kid… Hmmm….

shaming
found image on google

I noticed a long time ago these parent shaming techniques. Usually it’s something posted to social media with a headline like, “Watch how this awesome parent teaches his kid not to (insert poor choice here).”

Yeesh! I’m all about strong parenting. Everyone who knows me knows I’m not a touchy feely parent. I love my kids like crazy but I rarely tolerate nonsense (take from that what you will.)

I’d like to think I’m not a judgy parent either. After actually having kids, I have alot more respect for those who are doing this parenting thing the best they can and just getting a shower on a daily basis.

However, when it comes to shaming my kid in public… well, my oldest is only 6 so I don’t know what will work with her when she is a teenager and maybe I will have to resort to extreme measures but I have to say… this whole holding up a sign and taking a picture for facebook with the kid looking totally forelorn or having them hold a sign on a street corner declaring their indiscretion or walking through the store wearing short shorts and a t-shirt stating your parenting choice and dragging a sullen teen… I’m just not sure about this whole thing! I don’t want to say “never” becasue who knows but REALLY?! Are we going to use social media and public shaming to teach our child a lesson? Is this the way to get them to talk to us when they have questions or open up when they have made mistakes or is this form of teaching closing off any hope of communication between my child and I?

Boy_in_stocks_posing_for_43
image found on google

For application to my 6 year old… I want to start to respect her the way I hope she will respect me in the future because our kids mimic our behavior (fact) and I’m hoping to show all my girls that I will give them private instruction. I get down on their level as much as possible. I quietly get their attention in public or take them away from public situations to deal with LOUD breakdowns (more on this in Mommy and Money). This is not always possible but I do my best and I hope that my children, as they get older, will know that I’m not their to shame them to their friends. I’m not the kind of parent that will publicly call them out on what I believe to be a poor choice. I hope this keeps the lines of communication open and never closed them off to me.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Parent Shames Kid… Hmmm….”

  1. I think I agree with you. Kids have enough trouble with other kids picking on them and making them feel like crap. As parents, we should be building them up, telling them we believe in them, giving them hope for their future and faith that they can make good choices.

  2. I really think this is a terrible thing to do to a kid…of any age. You are absolutely on target when you talk about respect, talking out of ear range of others, keeping these discussions private.

    Just imagine what that does to the child’s self esteem and other kids will quickly repeat it, taunting and teasing far longer than any parent would.

    A safe rule of thumb is to only do those things which you wouldn’t mind having done to you. A good friend would tell you when you are messing up…but they would do it in a way that showed they cared, not to humiliate you.

    One also should handle each child individually. One child may need firm direction whereas another might fall to pieces with firm direction, perhaps just a look is enough to get that point across. Know your children and what works for each one, individually.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s