BiLo, my regular grocery store in North Carolina, has parking for expectant mothers. Wow! How did I not notice that until I was pregnant? I mean, parking for handicapped people makes sense but… now, wait a minute. This maternity parking makes even more sense! Handicapped people are disabled their whole lives. They get used to it. We are only incapable of walking for 9 months at a time and only a few times in our lives. Therefore it would stand to logic that those who are not used to having a disability get even better parking spots. Although this logic holds no weight whatsoever, I use it to make myself feel better about using these extraordinarily good parking spaces.
BiLo only has two maternity spots. My parents were visiting and my dad was going to the store with me. I was so excited to show off my newly found parking status. (I refrained from using these spots during the first trimester as I really didn’t feel pregnant.) But as we pulled into the parking lot and I prepared to skid into my personal parking spot, I saw it was taken by none other than a moped. Yes, a tiny little gas efficient motorcycle. What expectant mother is driving a moped? Even the eco-conscious pregnant ladies of Asheville, NC are not going to ride a moped while expecting. I steamed and fumed to my dad that there’s no way that’s an expectant mother. We parked 5 spots further from the door than I should have and as we made our way in we saw the culprit heading out of the door. He wasn’t even at his vehicle when I knew he belonged to it – a thirty something MALE with a 6 pack of beer. Ok, you may be thinking, “Those Asheville women get pretty burly. Are you sure it wasn’t a woman?” Let me leave no doubt in your mind. It was a man. I commented to my dad, “Having a beer gut and man boobs does not qualify you as an expectant mother.” I had half a mind to go up and let him have a piece of my hormone induced mind. But my dad held me back and then bought me Oreos.